Why “Handling Change” Isn’t the Real Challenge

Change is inevitable. Yet, for many of us, it still feels like a disruption - an unwelcome detour we didn’t choose. But what if change itself isn’t the problem? What if the real challenge lies in how we relate to it?

As Blanche Roberts reminds us, “Change is a constant. To expect otherwise is to resist the nature of life itself.” This simple truth cuts through the noise: the only security we truly have is in our ability to adapt.

Blanche’s insights on the Thriving Changes podcast prompted me to reflect on moments when my world shifted unexpectedly. I remembered the time I moved across continents, leaving behind my support system and sense of familiarity. On the outside, it looked like a career opportunity. Inside, it felt like I was unraveling. It wasn’t the external change that overwhelmed me - it was the transition within.

And that’s the difference that matters.

Change vs. Transition: Why Knowing the Difference Matters

Understanding the Emotional Transition Behind Every Change

We often use the words “change” and “transition” interchangeably. But as Blanche explains, they are not the same:

Change is external - it’s the event, the shift in circumstance.
Transition is internal - it’s the emotional and psychological process we go through in response.

Most of us stay focused on what’s happening around us. But transformation begins when we tune inward. I had recently relocated to the US when we lost my dear cousin to cancer. I was flooded with grief and loneliness. Along with it, the anxiety of starting over. No one could see that from the outside. That was the transition - the part that required compassion, patience, and internal reorientation.

Practical Step:

When facing change, ask yourself: “What is changing externally and what is shifting within me because of it?”This reflection creates space for self-awareness, which is the foundation of intentional response.

The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Transition

Why Emotional Avoidance Undermines Resilience

Avoiding the emotional layers of change doesn’t make them go away. It buries them until they resurface as burnout, anxiety, or disengagement.

Blanche describes four non-linear phases of transition:

Denial – “This isn’t really happening.”
Resistance – “Why is this happening to me?”
Exploration – “What can I do with this?”
Commitment – “This is where I’m going next.”

What struck me most is how easily we get stuck in resistance. We blame the situation or others or ourselves. We distract, overwork, or spiral into “what ifs.”

I’ve been there. After a major professional setback, I spent months pretending it didn’t affect me. But my body knew otherwise. I was exhausted, irritable, and disconnected. Only when I paused to name what I was feeling did the fog begin to lift.

Here’s a blog that I wrote based on Josh Hatter’s first episode with ‘Thriving Changes’ titled, “The Power of Introspection with Josh Hatter” that talks about building resilience while navigating change.

Your Body Doesn’t Know It’s Just a Thought

Managing Fear: The Fight-or-Flight Trap of Imagined Threats

Our nervous system doesn’t distinguish between real danger and perceived threat. When you imagine the worst-case scenario - losing your job, disappointing your team, failing at your new role - your body reacts as if it’s happening right now.

This is why fear, whether imagined or real, triggers the same response: fight, flight, or freeze.

Blanche puts it plainly: “Fear is fear.” And unless we interrupt the cycle, we stay trapped in it.

One tool that’s helped me time and again is this question: “Is this thought true? Is it helpful?”

When fear rises, I practice replacing catastrophic thinking with grounding phrases like, “This is unfamiliar, not necessarily unsafe”. “I need to evaluate the situation before jumping to conclusions”. “I’ve handled hard things before - this is no different.”

The Self-Talk That Shapes Our Reality

Rewiring Your Inner Dialogue for Calm, Clarity, and Courage

Words have power!

And…the most influential ones are the ones we say to ourselves.

According to Blanche, the way we speak to ourselves matters. And I couldn’t agree more. Self-talk isn’t just fluffy affirmation - it’s neuroscience. The words we repeat shape our emotional tone, impact our stress response, and influence how we move through uncertainty.

Practical Step:

Try this 3-step “Intentional Self-Talk Reset”:

Notice your inner dialogue in moments of stress.
Name the belief behind it. (For example, “I can’t handle this”)
Nurture a new response rooted in possibility. (“I’m learning to handle hard things with more grace”)

Over time, this becomes a powerful tool for shifting from reactivity to resilience.

Adaptability is the New Stability

The Only Security Is Growth - Not Control

In a world where change is constant, trying to hold on to “how things were” is a losing battle. Blanche offers a refreshing alternative:

“Stability comes not from what we control, but how we grow.”

It’s not about having all the answers…it’s about having a support system and the tools to navigate the unknown.

This is where values-based leadership makes a difference. When you know what you stand for, your values, for example, people-first, relational, integrity, growth, compassion - you can move through uncertainty with alignment. Your values become your compass.

Here’s a great Forbes article on Human Connection that talks about feedback loops, intentional people practices, and robust training and development that can transform change from a strategic goal into sustainable reality.

Asking for Help Isn’t Weakness - It’s Wisdom

Why Support Is a Leadership Skill

One of the most moving reminders from this episode is that we all experience change differently. Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is say, “I don’t know what I need.”

We often believe that leaders should be strong, composed, and self-sufficient. But isolation is not strength…it’s a warning sign.

As Udo Graf says in his episode with 'Thriving Changes', “If it’s lonely at the top, then something’s wrong”.

Practical Step:

Create your “support map.” Who are three people, personal or professional, you can turn to for:

Listening without fixing?
Challenging your perspective with compassion?
Reminding you of who you are when you forget?

This kind of connection doesn’t just help you survive change. It helps you grow through it.

Awareness is the Gateway, but…Action Builds the Bridge

From Insight to Impact: Turning Awareness into Movement

Awareness is where all transformation begins. But as I often say to my clients:

Awareness is not enough - transformation requires action.

Blanche reminds us that change is a process. And processes require movement, not perfection.

You don’t have to leap. But you do have to take a step.

Start here:

Reflect on where you are in the transition cycle (denial, resistance, exploration, or commitment).
Choose one area where you’re ready to explore instead of resist.
Practice one new self-talk phrase that reinforces possibility.
Reach out to one person who can walk with you through it.

You don’t have to do it all at once. You just have to begin.

Closing Reflection

Navigating change is rarely neat or linear. It’s a spiral of emotions, realizations, and slow rebuilds. But it’s also an invitation - to meet ourselves with compassion, to lead with values, and to grow through what disrupts us.

This episode with Blanche Roberts isn’t just about change - it’s about reclaiming your agency within it. When you stop fighting the external and start nurturing the internal, you unlock the resilience, clarity, and courage already within you.

Much love,