It Shouldn’t Be Lonely at the Top: Lessons in Leadership, Connection, and Courage

A Thriving Changes Reflection Inspired by Udo Graf

There was a season in my life when I believed that strong leadership meant doing everything alone.

I had just stepped into a new role - one filled with possibility but also pressure. I was trying to prove myself, to stay ahead, to hold it all together. And though I was surrounded by people, I felt deeply isolated.

When I spoke with Udo Graf for the Thriving Changes podcast, his words hit like a wave of truth:

“It shouldn’t be lonely at the top.”

Something about that moment unraveled a quiet belief I had carried for years - that leadership was supposed to be heavy, that being strong meant carrying burdens in silence. Udo’s wisdom, however, told a different story - one rooted in clarity, connection, and choosing people over performance.

What follows isn’t just a recap of our conversation. It’s a collection of life lessons that rose to the surface as I listened to Udo’s voice, reflected on my own journey, and thought about all of you - leaders, changemakers, seekers - navigating your own paths through adversity.

1. Mentorship Matters: Learn, Then Lift

I still remember the words of my first real mentor, “You don’t have to know everything. You just need to stay curious and stay kind.”

That line saved me more than once.

Udo reminded me how much of who we become is shaped by those who pour into us. But more importantly, it’s not meant to stop with us. We’re here to pass it forward.

Try this: Schedule a “Mentorship Moment” each month. Support someone who reminds you of your younger self. You don’t need all the answers - just your presence and your lessons.

2. People First, Always

Years ago, I took on a contract that looked good on surface but something in my gut said no. I ignored it. I needed the income. I needed to keep moving.

But it cost me. I found myself surrounded by a team misaligned with the values I held dear. The work felt transactional. My energy drained.

Through that experience and others like it, my perspective began to shift. I learned the hard way that building a team isn’t just about filling roles. It’s about laying the foundation for something greater - a shared purpose, a culture, a rhythm that sustains the work and the people behind it.

Udo’s advice echoed what that season taught me: “Focus on building the right team. When you invest in people, the results follow - not the other way around.”

Try this: Start your next team meeting with one question: “What’s something you’re proud of this week?” Watch what happens when you make people feel seen.

3. Purpose-Driven Growth

One of my coaching clients once shared, “I feel like I’m performing at work, not contributing.”

That insight struck a deep chord with me - because I’ve been there.

When we’re not aligned with our purpose, our energy leaks. But when we operate from passion and ownership, we don’t just get more done - we feel more alive.

Udo put it beautifully: “Help individuals grow where they feel passion and ownership. That’s where lasting impact begins.”

Try this: Ask your team (or yourself): “What’s one part of your role that energizes you and one that drains you?” Then adjust where possible.

4. Clarity Over Consensus

I once rolled out a new program to a team I was leading. It was strategic. It was smart. And it completely flopped.

Not because the plan was bad but because I hadn’t explained the why. People were confused. Some were resentful. I had sought compliance instead of clarity.

Udo’s reminder landed like a bell: “People don’t have to agree with every decision, but they do need to understand the why.”

Try this: The next time you communicate a decision, take one extra step: share the reasoning. Not just the what, but the why.

5. Courage to Confront

I once avoided giving feedback to a collaborator because I didn’t want to “rock the boat.” She was well-respected and brilliant at what she did, but there was a clear misalignment in our strategy planning and working styles. It didn’t feel like a partnership - I felt dismissed, and the dynamic leaned more toward advice-giving than collaboration. 

I kept justifying it. She’s just passionate. Maybe it’s a phase. Who am I to call it out?

But silence has a cost.

Eventually, I stopped contributing. My performance took a hit – not because of her actions alone but also because I lacked the courage to speak up sooner.

Udo’s words are a vital reminder: “Don’t shy away from bad news. Address it head-on before frustration spreads.”

Try this: Open the door gently but honestly: “Can we talk about something that’s been weighing on me?”

It may feel uncomfortable, but discomfort now is better than disconnection later.

6. It Shouldn’t Be Lonely at the Top

When I launched my first group program, I poured everything into it - content, structure, onboarding, delivery. On paper, it was a success. Registrations came in, sessions ran smoothly, feedback was glowing.

But somewhere around week three, I realized something unexpected: I had no one to share the behind-the-scenes with.

The doubts.
The decision fatigue.
The late-night second-guessing.

Every challenge felt like mine to carry, and every win felt strangely muted. I was building it alone.

That season reminded me of something I now hold sacred: even leaders need a space to be held, not just hold space for others.

Udo’s words echoed that truth: “Leadership should be collaborative and connected. Isolation is a warning sign.”

We don’t need more lone heroes in leadership. We need more real conversations, safe containers, and people who remind us that we’re human first.

Try this: Create your “connection circle.” A few people in both spheres, personal and professional, you can turn to not for answers but for reflection, grounding, and realness. Leadership gets lighter when it’s shared.

7. Authentic Self-Marketing

There was a time when I tried to brand myself like everyone else - polished, buttoned-up, never too vulnerable. But it felt like wearing clothes that didn’t fit.

It wasn’t until I rooted my voice in my story, my purpose, lived experience, my healing that people really began to respond.

Udo captured this with depth: “Before you promote yourself, know your purpose, your passion, and your confidence. Then others will believe it too.”

Try this: Write a one-line purpose statement and include it in your bio, signature, or website. Let it speak for you before your resume does.

8. Success with Meaning

A couple years ago, I worked with a team going through a major transformation. The engagement was a big win - strategic visibility, generous compensation, measurable results. By every external measure, it was a milestone.

But the moment that stayed with me was a quiet conversation with one of the leaders I had coached during the process. As we wrapped up, he paused and said, “You didn’t just help me become a better leader - you helped me become a better father.”

I remember that moment vividly because that’s what success feels like when it has meaning -when the impact reaches beyond the workplace and into someone’s life.

Udo’s words echo that truth: “True fulfillment comes from the difference we make in others’ lives.”

Try this: Instead of asking yourself what you accomplished this week, ask: “Who did I help grow?” Let your legacy be measured in ripple effects, not just results.

9. Hard Times Create Strong Bonds

When I lost my cousin Dimpy to cancer, I was newly relocated and deeply alone. Grief amplified my loneliness. I was surrounded by people - neighbors, coworkers, friendly smiles but I felt utterly alone.

But something beautiful happened in the years that followed. I slowly reconnected with Dimpy’s daughter and now, share a beautiful bond with her six-year-old daughter.

Udo’s insight is real: “Even difficult moments can become treasured memories that build deep, family-like relationships.”

Try this: Reflect on a hard season. Who walked with you through it? Reach out. Thank them. Nurture that bond.

10. Set Yourself Up to Win

There have been roles where I felt like I was constantly swimming upstream. No matter how hard I tried, something felt off. Misaligned. Misplaced.

And then there were roles - like the one I’m in now - where work feels like an extension of who I am. Where success feels sustainable.

Udo said it best: “Choose environments where your strengths can shine.”

Try this: Ask yourself weekly: “What gave me energy this week? What drained me?” Use your answers to make micro-adjustments toward alignment.

Final Words: Let Leadership Be a Shared Journey

What I took from Udo’s voice and my own story is this:

You are allowed to be human in your leadership.
You are allowed to need support.
You are allowed to redefine success.

Thriving doesn’t come from climbing alone. It comes from building bridges, taking aligned action, and remembering that your story - messy, beautiful, unfinished is your greatest strength.

Much love,

Life After Loss: The Sacred Work of Healing Without Rushing

A Thriving Changes Reflection Inspired by Rachael Stewart

When my cousin Dimpy passed away from cancer, something in me cracked open.

We had recently relocated to the US, and I hadn’t yet found my footing, let alone a community. The grief of losing her collided with a deep sense of isolation. I was far from everything familiar - my friends, extended family, the cultural rhythms that used to anchor me. And now, without her, I felt untethered.

It’s strange how grief can amplify loneliness. I was surrounded by people - neighbors, coworkers, friendly smiles but I felt utterly alone. Like I was carrying something invisible that no one could see.

When I spoke with Rachael Stewart on a recent episode of Thriving Changes, her words stirred something familiar in me - not a wound, but a scar. A healed place. A space I once had to fight to reclaim.

“Life still holds meaning, value, and impact, even when we choose not to push ourselves past our limits,” she said.

And I knew exactly what she meant.

You Don’t Have to Push to Prove You Matter

In those early days of grief, I kept trying to stay busy. I filled my days with to-do lists and distractions, telling myself that staying productive would help me move on. But underneath it all, I was unraveling.

Eventually, I stopped running. I gave myself permission to grieve. I let myself cry when I needed to, even if it was in the middle of folding laundry. I started to understand that grief isn’t something you conquer - it’s something you learn to carry.

You don’t have to perform strength to be strong.
You don’t have to push past your limits to be valuable.

Looking back, I’m grateful I chose to pause. I gave myself permission to slow down. I let go of expectations. And somehow, I found myself again - not in the hustle, but in the quiet.

Try this: Redefine what success looks like in your current season. Let “rest,” “healing,” or “presence” count as worthy outcomes. Because they are.

Let Grief Shape You - Not Define You

“Loss is a part of life. It shapes us… but it doesn’t mean life can’t still be good.” – Rachael Stewart

Dimpy was more than a cousin to me - she was family, a sister, a friend, a confidant, a source of warmth and laughter. Losing her left a space nothing else could fill.

But over time, something surprising happened. The sadness stopped being so sharp. The memories became softer. I started noticing how her presence lived on in me - in the way I encouraged others, in the way I showed up for people in pain, in the way I started to live more fully because she no longer could.

And now, years later, something beautiful is unfolding: I’m deepening my bond with her daughter and granddaughter. Spending time with them has brought a sense of full-circle healing. Sometimes we share stories about Dimpy. Other times, we simply play, laugh, or sit in quiet connection. In those moments, I feel her legacy - not just in memory, but alive in relationship.

Try this: If you’re navigating change or loss, start a reflection journal. Use prompts like:

• What have I learned about what truly matters to me?

• How am I different and what do I want to do with that difference?

• What part of me is asking to be seen now?

Faith Carries You When Fear Tries to Lead

“Choose to walk with faith.”

There were days after Dimpy’s death when I felt unmoored - like I was drifting through a fog I couldn’t name. Faith, in those moments, didn’t look like certainty. It looked like the quiet decision to believe that healing was possible, even when I couldn’t feel it yet.

Over time, I found that faith wasn’t about having all the answers. It was about trusting that I didn’t have to walk alone. That something bigger - God, purpose, love - was still holding me.

Try this: Practice a grounding breath prayer. Breathe in, “I am held,” and breathe out, “even when I don’t see the way.” Repeat for a few minutes whenever fear begins to rise. Faith doesn’t always need words - it sometimes just needs stillness.

Let Yourself Be Supported - Even After the Storm

“Grief deceives us into thinking we must bear it alone.”

For most of my young adult years, I was doing life in isolation. Life experiences made me realize that it wasn’t a healthy choice. We are wired for connection, necessary for our well-being and even survival. I didn’t want to do this alone. Having support during difficult time aids in the process of healing and adapting to loss. Support can come in different forms…sometimes, it’s a warm meal delivered to your doorstep, a friend who sits with you in silence, or a group of people who’ve walked a similar road and simply nod when you speak. 

I was experiencing a mirage of emotions - angry, shock, sadness, desperation, confused, disbelief and at times, numbness. Looking back, I’m glad I sought therapy in the early stages. Therapy helped me process her loss and finally brought me to a place of acceptance. It helped me find meaning surrounding her loss, the ‘why’ to every stage. ‘Finding meaning’ is deeply personal. Each of us has a unique lens to the loss. It is shaped by our experiences, perspectives, and worldview. It helped me forgive, accept what is, move forward in my grief and become unstuck. 

Even after grief passes, community remains essential. We’re wired for connection, for shared experience, for care that continues even when the crisis is over.

Try this:

• Make a list of your people - those you can lean on when life gets heavy again.

• Reach out, not just in pain, but in joy too. Let support be a rhythm, not a rescue.

Let others into your healing process. You don’t have to carry it all alone.

Rediscover What Lights You Up

For a long time after Dimpy passed, everything felt muted. The things I used to enjoy - music, cooking, long walks just didn’t spark the same joy. But little by little, I began to follow my curiosity again.

I signed up for an art class. I went for long walks in our local forest preserve with headphones blaring my favorite songs. I started laughing again - really laughing - with my son, with new friends, even alone in the kitchen. Those small sparks…they were proof that life could still be good.

Taking the time to explore different experiences helps us rediscover what lights our fire. 

And now, I don’t wait for permission to pursue curiosity. I follow it.

Challenge: For the next 30 days, try one new thing each week.
You might:

• Take a class you’ve always wanted to take

• Rediscover an old hobby or sport you enjoyed playing

• Visit a new café alone and bring a journal

• Sign up for a course that scares you just a little

Joy doesn’t have to be loud. It just has to be yours.

Closing Thoughts: You Are the Proof

Rachael’s words reminded me of what I now know to be true:

That life can still hold beauty - even after loss.
That healing is not about returning to who you were but becoming who you’re meant to be.
That community, curiosity and faith can slowly piece you back together - if you let them.

Watching Dimpy’s granddaughter giggle as she runs into my arms, or seeing her daughter open up over a cup of chai, I’m reminded that loss doesn’t always lead to emptiness. Sometimes, it makes space for new, sacred connections.

You don’t have to be in crisis to reflect.
You don’t have to be fully healed to move forward.

Wherever you are in your journey - whether you’re just beginning to breathe again or learning to laugh out loud - you’re not behind. You’re not broken.

And you’re certainly not done becoming.

Much love,

Rooted in Change: What Business (and Life) Have Taught Me About Growth, Grace, and Getting Clear

I remember sitting at my study, papers strewn across the surface, desktop blinking with unanswered emails, and a calendar that looked more like a battlefield than a plan. I had just taken on a client I knew wasn’t the right fit—my gut told me so from the start. But I said yes anyway. I told myself, “It’s temporary. It’s money. It’s just this once.”

It wasn’t just once.

And it came at a cost—not just time, but energy, alignment, and joy.

When Kristin Golliher and I met virtually to record her episode for Thriving Changes, her words hit home. Not just because she’s built a successful business, but because her wisdom is rooted in real experience. And she, like many of us, has learned that staying true to your mission isn’t just good business—it’s good for the soul.

Here are the lessons that stuck with me long after the interview ended—along with the stories they stirred up from my own journey.

“Change is constant—build strong foundations from the start.”

Kristin’s words took me back to my first attempt at launching a group program. I had passion, I had people, I had purpose—but I didn’t have a system. Emails went out late. Zoom links were wrong. Payment tracking? A mess.

I learned quickly: enthusiasm is not a substitute for infrastructure.

Strong foundations don’t just make things smoother—they help you show up fully for what matters most. They allow you to lead, not just scramble. Whether it’s a business or a personal goal, structure creates space for creativity to thrive.

Try this: Pick one area of your life or work that feels messy. What small system could support it? Maybe it’s a calendar routine, a shared folder, or a weekly planning session. Start small. Start now.

“Invest in the right systems and people—it pays off.”

I used to think delegation was for the ultra-successful. “I’ll bring in support when I make it,” I’d tell myself.

But the truth is, I didn’t make it until I brought in support.

When I finally hired a virtual assistant to help manage podcast editing, social media and scheduling, I got back hours each week—and more importantly, I got back mental clarity. I wasn’t just doing more; I was doing better.

Kristin’s reminder is powerful: the right systems and people aren’t expenses—they’re investments. They give you the capacity to grow into your vision.

Reflection: Who in your life makes you better? Who fills in your gaps? How can you invest more deeply in those relationships?

“If your business isn’t profitable, why are you in business?”

It sounds blunt—but it’s a wake-up call.

There was a season where I was giving everything away. Discounted rates. Free workshops. Countless hours of “just one quick call” with clients. I told myself I was being generous. But in truth? I was undervaluing my work.

I once had a mentor say, “People value what they pay for—and they commit more deeply when they invest in themselves.”

That changed everything.

Practical step: Know your numbers. Create a simple profit/loss tracker. Even if you’re not running a business, track how your time and energy are spent. What’s draining you? What’s feeding you?

Profit isn’t just financial—it’s how your efforts return joy, meaning, and momentum.

“Delegate what you can but always understand how things work.”

In my initial days as a Leadership Strategist and Facilitator, I hired someone to design my website without really understanding my own brand voice. It felt clunky. Off. Inauthentic. I had skipped the step of owning my message—and it showed.

Delegation only works when it’s rooted in clarity. You don’t have to do everything, but you do need to understand the essentials. Kristin’s reminder here is golden: outsource with intention, not abdication.

Takeaway: Before you delegate something, ask yourself: “Could I explain this clearly to someone else?” If not, get clear first. Then, hand it off with confidence.

“Map it out: Who are we? Where are we going?”

Every year now, I block off two days for what I call my Vision Reset. No calls. No emails. Just me, a notebook, and the big questions.

Who am I serving? What do I want this to look like in a year? What’s working—and what’s not?

The first time I did this, it felt indulgent. Now, it feels non-negotiable.

Kristin’s advice to check in yearly isn’t just good business practice—it’s a radical act of alignment. It keeps you from drifting. It helps you stay intentional in a world that pulls you in a thousand directions.

Try this: Schedule your own Vision Reset. Doesn’t have to be fancy—just quiet. Bring coffee, your journal, and your honesty. You’ll be amazed what clarity shows up.

“Clients are like dating—it’s a two-way street.”

There was a time I treated every inquiry like a test I had to pass. I wanted to be chosen. I forgot that I also had a choice.

The most draining clients I’ve ever had weren’t “bad people”—they were just mismatched. The more I’ve aligned with my own values, the more those mismatches have fallen away. And the more energizing and fulfilling my work has become.

Kristin’s brilliance: Not every opportunity is worthwhile. You get to choose. You must choose—if you want to build something that lasts.

“Sometimes you have to say no—to stay true to your mission.”

The first time I said no to a client offer that didn’t align, I was terrified. But something strange happened. I felt… powerful.

Kristin’s right: It’s hard to say no in a service-based world. But saying no doesn’t mean rejection—it means direction. It means standing for something.

Script to try: “Thank you so much for thinking of me. This isn’t the right fit, but I’d be happy to recommend someone who might be.” Grace + clarity = a boundary that builds trust.

“Have faith in all things. Everything works out the way it’s meant to.”

I’ve held this close more times than I can count.

Faith isn’t about certainty. It’s about presence. It’s about trusting that even when the path isn’t clear, the next step will be.

And sometimes, the hardest seasons are the ones that prepare us for the greatest growth.

When things fall apart, when plans fail, when clients leave, when launches flop—what remains is who we are. And often, that’s more than enough.

My practice: In the chaos, I come back to breath. To silence. To the belief that I am being shaped, not punished. That change is not the end—it’s the beginning.

What Thriving Through Change Really Means

At the heart of this conversation—Kristin’s and mine—is a shared belief: that change is the soil in which something extraordinary can grow.

But only if we’re willing to pause, get honest, and choose intentionally.

So, here’s your invitation:

• Build your foundation. Even if it’s imperfect.

• Get clear on your values. Even if it takes time.

• Choose aligned people. Even if it means fewer clients.

• Say no with love. Say yes with purpose.

• Trust that the right things will meet you when you show up with integrity.

Your life—your business—isn’t just happening to you. You are co-creating it. Every step. Every pivot. Every pause.

And that, my friend, is where true resilience begins.

With love,

From Pain to Power: Living Boldly in the Face of Uncertainty

There are moments in life that define us—not because of what happens, but because of how we choose to respond. When Pauline Victoria was born without arms or legs, her father gently broke the news to her mother. Her mother, in return, spoke four simple words: “Thy will be done.”

In that quiet moment, something profound took root. It wasn’t surrender in the way we often fear it—defeated, resigned, broken. It was surrender in its most powerful form: trust. Trust that even this—the unknown, the painful, the unimaginable—had a purpose. That even here, something beautiful could unfold.

I keep thinking about those words. About what it means to meet our circumstances, not with resistance, but with radical acceptance. What if the things we fear are here not to break us, but to build us?

In the latest episode of ‘Thriving Changes’, Pauline Victoria shares her life journey. Born without arms and legs, Pauline chose to defy the odds and courageously build a fulfilling life as a wife, mother, businesswoman and a motivational speaker.

Pauline’s life doesn’t just challenge the idea of limitation—it dismantles it. But this story isn’t about Pauline. It’s about you. It’s about the quiet courage you carry. The uncertainty you’re walking through. The ways you might be called to surrender—not to give up, but to give in to something deeper. And more than anything, it’s about the choices available to each of us when life doesn’t go as planned.

“Surrender leads to acceptance. And when you accept something as it is, there’s nothing to fix, nothing broken, nothing to change—just peace.” It took me a minute to truly understand what she meant. The statement is so profound, I would invite you to read it again. 

That surrender shifted her perspective. She knew there was something bigger at play. She trusted that there was a bigger purpose in it all. And when you believe in that, you live differently—you see your circumstances not through the lens of victimhood but from a place of empowerment and gratitude for being part of the story. In that moment, we stop reacting…we start choosing.

We live in a world that’s constantly asking us to be more, do more, prove more. Pauline’s wisdom reminded me that confidence isn’t built by doing—it’s built by knowing, “The more you know yourself, the more you can own who you are,” When you own your story, even the chapters you once tried to tear out, you stop seeking permission to be.  

Owning your life doesn’t mean pretending everything’s okay. It means standing up in the middle of the mess and saying: I still get to choose who I am in this. “In my life,” she said, “I’ve always had to believe it before I could see it.” That’s not easy. It requires us to trust what hasn’t yet taken shape. But belief—raw, untethered belief—is often the first step toward something meaningful.

I could hear the freedom in her voice. Discomfort, for her, wasn’t a threat. It was a teacher. She shared how she often doesn’t know exactly how she’ll do something—but that never stopped her. “I’ve become very comfortable with being uncomfortable,” she told me, smiling. “It’s about you dealing with life, not life dealing with you.” There’s so much pressure to have the plan, the five steps, the roadmap. But sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is take the next uncertain step. Even if we’re shaking. 

“So many people wait to feel confident before they act,” she said. “But what you really need is courage. Courage to say yes—to step into what’s meant for you.” I thought about the times I’ve hesitated—waiting until I felt ready, skilled, prepared. Pauline reminded me that readiness is often a myth. Confidence is something we grow in motion.

You don’t have to be sure. You just have to be willing.

How often do we wait for our circumstances to change before we do? But what if change begins the moment we decide to stop waiting? Essentially, what she was saying was that you are not at the mercy of life. You are the author of your response.

“Life whispers to you, but if you don’t listen, it will scream.” We often ignore the quiet nudges—the gut feelings, the subtle knowing—because we’re too busy or too afraid? Pauline spoke about how her own path became clearer the more she ignored the noise and learned to listen to the still, small voice within.

Are there too many voices around you—giving you advice—telling you what to do? Maybe you’ve been hearing whispers but ignoring them. Maybe it’s time to lean in and explore what those whispers are saying…

We all have pain in our lives, but Pauline refused to let it define her. She used it as a catalyst for transformation, “You stop using pain as an excuse and start turning pain into personal power.”

I couldn’t help asking myself: Where am I still using pain as a reason to play small? 

And maybe you can ask yourself too: What can I learn my pain? How can I use it as an opportunity for growth? As I build my muscle, how can I use it to serve others in the future?

Sometimes we forget, especially in seasons where we feel invisible or exhausted or left behind, but Pauline is clear: You matter—not because of what you do, but because of who you are. 

Your presence is a gift. You are enough.

Then, gently, she said something I’ll never forget:

“Sometimes…it’s not about you.”

That moment stilled me. Our stories, our healing,  our growth—they ripple. Sometimes, who we are becoming isn’t just for us. It’s for someone else who needs to see that it’s possible.

Pauline’s story is extraordinary. But the mindset she lives by? That’s available to all of us. It’s not about overcoming something dramatic. It’s about choosing to live differently. With trust. With purpose. With love.

Pauline didn’t wait for the world to validate her. She lived as though her worth was already true. And in doing so, she invited the world to catch up.

What if you started living from that same truth?

So, wherever you are right now—sitting in uncertainty, craving direction, healing from heartbreak, or ready for something more—here’s what I hope you remember:

✨ You are not broken.
✨ You are becoming.
✨ And you, too, can thrive through change.

With love,

Rising from the Ground Up: Healing, Growing, and Choosing a Better Life

There’s something uniquely humbling about starting from scratch—about looking around and realizing that no one’s coming to save you, and if you’re going to build something meaningful, it’s going to have to be from the ground up.

That’s exactly what Josh Hatter, CEO of Curated Vacation Properties, shared on this week’s Thriving Changes episode. His story isn’t the polished highlight reel we see so often. It’s raw, honest, and full of the hard-won lessons that only come from surviving the days that make you question everything—and choosing to keep going anyway.

Living Two Separate Lives is Exhausting

Many of us have tried to be two people—one version of ourselves at work, and another at home. On the outside, we might look like we have it all together. But inside, that division wears us down. As Josh said, it’s nearly impossible to show up fully anywhere if part of you is hidden away.

The truth is, no matter how much we think we’re keeping it together, that internal tension leaks out—in our words, our body language, or the weight we carry on our shoulders. People are intuitive. They can sense when we’re not fully there.

Eventually, you have to ask: What would it look like if I stopped trying to be two people and just brought my whole self into every space I’m in?

The Hard Truth: You Can’t Have Everything, But You Can Create What You’re Missing

One of the most beautiful parts of Josh’s story was hearing how he came to terms with this simple but painful truth—sometimes, life doesn’t give us what we want. Maybe it’s the childhood we wish we had. Maybe it’s the mentor we longed for but never found.

But Josh learned something powerful: just because you didn’t get something in your past doesn’t mean you can’t create it for yourself now. Whether it’s the family you never had or the career you once thought was impossible—you can build it. It might not look exactly like what you dreamed of, but sometimes, what you create becomes even more fulfilling.

Risk is Part of the Journey, But You Don’t Have to Do It Blind

Josh is the first to admit that entrepreneurship—or even just starting over—isn’t for the faint of heart. There’s risk everywhere. But the difference between people who build something that lasts and those who burn out is this: they learn from other people’s mistakes.

It’s humbling to admit we don’t know everything, but it’s freeing too. Surrounding yourself with mentors, asking the tough questions, and listening to the people who’ve been there—it makes the road ahead a little less lonely.

Your Team Will Make or Break You

One thing Josh couldn’t stress enough: building a team is hard. People are unpredictable. You’ll get burned. You’ll trust the wrong person. You’ll think someone is in it for the long haul and find out they’re not. But when you get it right—when you build a team where people feel safe, valued, and heard—that’s when the magic happens.

Learning to let go of tasks, trusting people to do things their way (even if it’s not perfect), is part of what allows a business—or a life—to grow. Micromanaging is a recipe for burnout. It only prevents employees from developing confidence and ownership in their roles; Support and guidance are crucial, but excessive oversight stifles creativity and innovation. 

 Remember: Freedom, trust, and shared purpose—that’s what creates something sustainable.

You Have to Know What You’re Working Toward

Here’s what hit me the hardest: so many of us spend our days running—working harder, chasing goals—but we never stop to ask why. What does happiness even look like? What does success really mean to us?

Josh talked about how dangerous that is. If you don’t know what you’re aiming for, you’ll wake up one day somewhere you never intended to be. And the truth is, figuring out what you actually want is harder than it sounds. It takes time, reflection, and brutal honesty.

Journaling about an ideal career and lifestyle can provide clarity. Experimenting with different experiences such as taking courses, volunteering, or networking can uncover hidden passions. Reverse-engineering goals into actionable steps makes aspirations more achievable.

But once you get clear on your vision, everything changes. You stop running in circles and start walking toward something real.

Your Past Doesn’t Define You, But It Can Teach You

One of the most powerful takeaways from Josh’s story is how he reframed his past—not as something to run from, but something to learn from.

He could’ve let his childhood, his pain, or his failures define him. But instead, he asked: What can I take from this? What does this teach me about who I want to be?

That shift—from regret to learning—is where resilience is born. It’s where growth happens.

If You Don’t Share Your Vision, No One Can Help You Get There

Josh said something that stuck with me long after the episode ended: “No one can help you if they don’t know where you’re going.”

We spend so much time trying to figure things out alone. But people want to help—friends, mentors, even strangers. The problem is, we don’t let them in. We’re so afraid of failing or looking foolish that we stay quiet.

But when you finally share your dreams, your vision, your hopes—people show up. The right people find you. And suddenly, you’re not building alone anymore.

Final Thoughts

Josh’s story isn’t about overnight success or having it all figured out. It’s about grit. It’s about the slow, steady process of building a life you’re proud of—from nothing if you have to.

It’s a reminder that no matter where you come from or what you’ve been through, you have the power to create something new. You can heal. You can grow. And you don’t have to do it alone.

So ask yourself: What do I really want? What am I building toward? And who do I need in my corner to get there?

Because thriving isn’t about having a perfect plan—it’s about taking the next right step, even when you’re scared. And that’s how you build from the ground up.